I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
