i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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