I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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