Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
smell my finger.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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