So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
