Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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