I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize