I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
