Just took my morning after pill in the library
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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