Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
