Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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