I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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