I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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