Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
