im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize
