He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
