my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think my mom watched the whole time
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
