Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
