Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
