just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there's paper in my vomit.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize