so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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