Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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