Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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