singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize