I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
