is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
