omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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