some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize