i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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