Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They have beer where we have blood.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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