Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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