I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
