I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
