Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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