Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
