so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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