if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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