i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
