well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
