dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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