If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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