Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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