oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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