Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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