just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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