You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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