What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
