hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
