Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
