where does the pee come out of this thing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
