Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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