oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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