Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
