He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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