it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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