"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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