Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
