alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
