ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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