Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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