I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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