I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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