like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
